Needs & Expectations

There are many times when those you love just hasn’t got the resources, emotional or physical, to show up for you in your tough time. Perhaps they show up in the beginning, then trail off, or maybe they show up sporadically, or maybe they are actually showing up regularly but during the tough time our needs and expectations are so enormous we are left disappointed and feeling abandoned anyway. But sadly, what ever the reason behind the absence of that person during a tough time, it usually frays the delicate bonds of the relationship and a crack appears. It throws into question what the relationship is, or will be, it brings up questions of trust, trust that he/she can be counted on when you are in trouble. Also what might be expected of yourself when someone else is in trouble. During extended droughts in our lives we need to learn the art of self soothing and taking care of our own tough feelings. That said, no man is an island and expecting ourselves not to need friends at all is also a recipe for emotional disease. This balance, like all good balances, is one we all have to take time and patience to explore.